Monday, July 9, 2012

A Loss Poem: "Love and Beauty Envy the Dog"

I thought I knew what the sun felt like, on my face,
When I was cold, deep inside.
I pretended to understand how filling the ocean was, when breathing
It in deep, and feeling it’s breeze.
That moment when a certain heartbreak is resolved, and you find
Yourself content, again, for the first time in a long time;
Walking barefoot in the damp grass, in a place far from anywhere
That caused me sadness or grief;
I thought I knew the depth of my heart, my soul-
It’s potential for love; to understand that
Deep pang it gives me when it reminds me that love is real;
I thought I knew it all, I thought-

Then I found you, my dog, my sweet forever love-
And when I look into your eyes, I realize
That the moon has nothing on you-  the sun, the sea-
Anything this world can offer, any other love
I would have thought was deep and true enough.
They have nothing on you, my love-
When I look into your eyes,
There is nothing greater, warmer, stronger-  nothing I would
Give my everything to keep and to have, and nothing that
Will strike me harder when it goes. 
I will be with you when you stumble upon the very sands
Not fitting enough to carry you-
When your stomach aches or your mind suffers-
Others will revere you simply, yet the skies will understand
And be intimidated when you stare upon them
And will reflect your soul when you pause and go-
You always knew best; what mattered most-
My hero, my soul, my light-

I live to one day be the person you saw in me,
Though I do not think that is possible;
You saw in me your sun, your moon, and your ocean-
And how ironic I find that, when they bend and bow to the
Nature of your beauty;
Yet, you did-  and I will never, never leave you
And I will never let you go.
I will never forget you, and I will never feel that pounding
In my chest towards anything else in this world-
Just you.  You, forever.
I think my heart a million parts,
And you will take nearly all when you leave-
But they are yours to have, to keep, to hold
When you go to that place where you’ll never grow old.

- Shannon Murphy

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